Hello. My name is Heen.
I’ve been keeping a secret. I have only shared the below with a very few select friends who know me deeply. It’s really just weird more than embarrassing or humiliating or sad. It’s going to come out eventually (as it has already been spoken out loud in Target, Earthfare, etc.) so I would rather you all hear it from me firsthand. It is time to come clean. Maybe saying this out loud will change something. Maybe blogging about something this ridiculous will help another mother out there struggling with a similar problem.
‘Mommy, Mama, Mom, Ma, Mother, Mommy Dearest, Mimi’….all pretty normal references to hear from a child you’ve raised, er…, managed to keep alive, right? (ok maybe not Mommy Dearest…that’s creepy. I am calling DCS if your kid calls you that.) I’ve even known some kids to call their mothers by their first names. If this happens in your house we cannot be friends. Sorry. But no.
My kids have always called me ‘Mommy’ (from babies to toddlers) until they get to an age where it’s just not cool so they begin calling me ‘Mom’. Even all of the foster kids we’ve had come and go have called me ‘Mommy’ or ‘Mom’, some even from day one, because it just felt right to them and I let them.
Enter: Blu Belle & Everest
Their first word was ‘Daddy’ (around about 10-12 months old) it sounded more like ‘Dayey’ and still does. I was cool with it. I’m pretty sure all our boys said ‘daddy’ first as well. I didn’t really care. So once the twins began saying ‘Dayey’ every time Jason walked in the door from work or somewhere I began waiting to hear ‘Mommy’ or something similar. Sadly, I am still waiting. That’s right, folks. Our twins are 26 months old and have been calling Jason ‘Dayey’ for more than a year, more like a year and a half now, and I am still waiting. Up until just a few months ago we realized they didn’t call me anything at all and we talked about it, thought it was a little weird, but then realized I am with them all the time and never leave their side, like, ever, so why would they feel the need to call me anything? Jason has been quizzing them for months by asking “Where’s River?” and they both point to River. “Where’s JJ?” and they point to JJ. “Where’s Mommy?” and they point to me. Yes, that’s right…they KNOW I am Mommy but they just don’t call me that.
At Christmas I was perusing through baby dolls on Amazon and wanted to get Blu Belle a Baby Stella doll for her gift. I had it in the shopping cart and everything and then came across a “Sweet Sounds Baby Stella” and turned to my big kids and said with way too much enthusiasm “Guys! Look! This Baby Stella says ‘Mama’ when you squeeze her hand! If I get this Baby Stella doll for Blu Belle instead of that other one that’s dead inside and says nothing then she’ll start calling me ‘Mama’!!” I got it for her and guess what?? She calls her Sweet Sounds Baby Stella doll ‘Mama’ now. I die.
You’re gonna love this next part…
So just a few months ago they began calling me SOMEthing, which I saw as huge progress to much greater things, but it isn’t exactly great like ‘Mimi’ or ‘Mema’ or anything remotely similar to ‘Mom/Mommy/Mama’. What do my darlings call me?
Heen.
That’s right. Heen. Pronounced like the word keen but with an H.
What the #$%, right? I have no idea…
At first we thought they were saying ‘hen’ and we thought ‘awe…that’s cute…like mama hen’. Nope. There was no mistaking it, folks. There IS no mistaking it, folks. I am Heen.
Scenario 1:
<insert any family member over the age of 2> says “Say cheese!”
<twin> says “Cheese!”
<???> then says “Say Lake!”
<twin> says “Yake!”
<???> says “Say Lissy!” (our cat)
<twin> says “Yissy!”
<???> says “Say Mommy!”
<twin> says “Heen!”
What the whaaat?
Scenario 2:
I walk into the twins’ room when they wake up in the morning or after naps and they alternately (and sometimes simultaneously) say “Hiiiii Heeeeen!”
Scenario 3:
When they’re being possessive of me, because they tend to be VERY possessive of me at times, and they see another child walking towards me looking like they’re about to want something they run to me as fast as they can and wrap their arms around my leg and proclaim “MY Heen!”
My big kids have all at some point said how cute they think it is that the babies have chosen such a unique name for me instead of calling me what every other child in this house calls me let alone every other child on the planet calls the woman in their life who has nurtured them into being to which I say “Thanks boys. That’s sweet. But you’re still not playing Minecraft so stop brown nosing or I will make you sleep outside.”
Can they physically say the word ‘mama’? Why yes. Yes they can. But they CHOOSE to call me Heen. Somebody please freakin’ explain this to me because I’m about to start perusing therapists. For me AND my precious babies.
