Archive for January, 2010

LOVE this child!

Posted by KK on Thursday, 14 January, 2010


{Click image to enlarge}

Remembering Stevie…

Posted by KK on Thursday, 14 January, 2010

Stevie Wonder Bailey

January 26, 1995 – January 13, 2010

Today was a sad day. Today our little Stevie Wonder went to sleep. We knew the time would come when we would have to make this decision. Stevie was stubborn. He wouldn’t give up.

We adopted Stevie about 3 ½ years ago. We were not in the market for a dog at the time but I was checking adoption agencies for my mom and came across this old guy who had been in foster care for ages because no one wanted a blind dog. I cried. I always want the ones who no one else wants. Stevie was blind with only one remaining eye when we adopted him and he was already 11 ½ years old. Setting myself up? Of course. Within a week of having him we had his last eye removed and for a while he was simply our old blind dog. About a year ago his hearing went and then almost immediately he just became very demented and confused all the time. He was plain old. In 13 days he would have turned 15 years old. Dogs just aren’t supposed to live that long especially without their sight. He had been blind for some time when we adopted him so he lived many years being blind. I decide a few weeks ago it was almost time because I began to worry about the ‘what ifs’ if I didn’t make the decision for him. We have six children in our home right now. Do I want this poor dog to stop breathing while I am home alone with these children? I also worried about our foster boys and how they would handle it. They have been through a lot. Seeing a dog die before their eyes wasn’t something I wanted for them. Our boys have known for quite a while that Stevie was on his way out and have had plenty of time to cope. It was still very hard, nonetheless. We told our two older boys, Wheat and Lake, a couple of days ago. We chose not to tell River, our 4 year old, until this afternoon just before I took Stevie away. Jason simply told River that Stevie is too sick now and it is time for us to take him to the doctor so they can help him go to sleep and then mommy and daddy are going to take you all to a movie. River said, “Ok. But can we get milkshakes, too?” Jason and I looked at each other with teary eyes and giggled a bit. We thought for a second we had narrowly escaped a meltdown. Just before I walked out of the room River came up to me and chokingly said “But mommy….I really want to go say goodbye to Stevie and tell him I love him”. Here came the tears. There are not many things in this world harder to witness than a child’s heart genuinely breaking before your eyes. I cried the whole way to Sweetwater to our veterinarian. I couldn’t stick around and I didn’t bring home his body. I couldn’t bury his sweet old body in the frozen ground. I am sure he left this world just moments after I left the office. I have a sweet friend who had been by our side for many years with our dog Atraeu and then Stevie and she promised to be with him when he went. I hate this part about the world…losing things we love. I have to hold on to the childlike faith I have held within me since I was little and had to deal with the loss of pets repeatedly. I have to know they are with God frolicking and perfectly whole again just as we will be. I totally told my children the same things my mother told me. I reminded them that Stevie was very old and very sick and hurting. It would be selfish of us to want to keep him here just because we didn’t want to be sad. Stevie needs to be happy and he is living with Jesus now and has a brand new set of brown eyes and perfectly good ears and is running for the first time in years because he can see where he is going and he isn’t afraid to run. If we didn’t think these thoughts how would any of us make it through things like this?

So as a parent I am torn. Our boys love dogs and so do we. We have now experienced the loss of two precious dogs since Jason and I married and began a family. Do we do it again or do we spare our boys the pain of losing them? As a child and seeing many of my beloved cats and dogs die or be killed I always immediately said I never wanted another pet because this was the hardest thing ever. Time passed and I always ended up with another furry friend. I am sure we’ll be there again one day. For now, we’ll remember Stevie.

The talking in his head…

Posted by KK on Tuesday, 12 January, 2010

img_3160 My angel boy, Wheat, has been reading since he was about 4. I worry about him often because he would rather sit and read books all day every day than do anything active. He is already reading big kid books like Treasure Island and Moby Dick, you know, books we weren’t forced to read until high school in which some of us never read and just bought the cliffs notes.

The other night he was granted permission to sleep with Jason and I, something they all still love doing because we co-slept with all three of our boys up until just about 2 years ago when our king size bed just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Now they all rotate from time to time sleeping with us. So he was laying in bed beside me and we were all reading. I noticed he was holding his breath for several seconds and then letting it out repeatedly only to hold it again. I remember him doing this at a very young age and I don’t know why he does it. When it finally became a disturbance to my reading I asked him why he was holding his breath. This was his answer:

“Well, you know how reading is kind of like talking in my head? If I breathe while I read then I might not be able to hear the words.”

This sweet kid has so much traffic in his head he needs street signals. He told us this same night that one day he wanted to hand write a dictionary….whatever that means. I cannot wait to see how this child chooses to use his brain for the greater good.