Archive for April, 2012


Posted by KK on Thursday, 19 April, 2012

People look at me like I am a saint. I know because that’s what they tell me. Every time I leave the house I am asked about my crew…”Are all these children yours?” to which I answer yes and go on to share a fraction of our story in hopes it raises awareness of the plight of orphans in the world, a fact that albeit very real to me is commonly unknown to most others. My husband and I foster children who are in unsafe situations and need a safe place to call home for a short while or in some cases forever. We’ve adopted a couple, Lord willing another in the near future, but we are not saints. I am no saint. I am so very human. I get mad at my kids when they make messes. I get really frustrated when my house is unorganized and messy. I yell at my children far too often. I treat my husband like a doormat and rarely ever put him before our children like I know I should. My priorities are out of order. I slack in homeschooling my children quite frequently to do something I’d rather do which is always less important. I care what others think about me and what I look like instead of what Jesus thinks of me. I could really go on. And on.

At the end of the day I am nothing on a grand scale and it often bothers me when people put me on a pedestal because I know deep down how truly human I am when others think I am superhuman and I know that what I do is very, very miniscule. I immediately think of my cyber-friends Adeye and Kim and I truly believe they are superhuman because it appears to me that they are living their lives in complete abandon to their creator although they would argue the same thing as I am now, that they are  human and selfish and lack the discipline that God desires for them as His disciples despite what others see in them.

And then there are days when I stumble upon a video like the one below…

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And I am reminded.

As I began watching that video, I began crying so uncontrollably that I couldn’t even see out of my eyes. I was reminded once again the perspective that I want to walk around with all day every day at the forefront of my thoughts. I want to abandon this self absorbed life I am living now and GO and pick these children up and hold them. Give them water. Give them a morsel of food that they’ll see as a feast. Wash their frail bodies and just hold them until they stop crying and don’t hurt anymore. Yesterday I wanted to kill someone because I couldn’t find my chacos and was late for an appointment when I have at least two dozen other pair of shoes, including another pair of chacos, that I could have put on instead. Today I don’t even want to wear shoes because they don’t have shoes and they don’t even care. Yesterday I walked around my house and felt like I was suffocating because I often feel so cramped in a 2400 square foot home where 8 people live and I wanted to beg and plead with my husband to agree to sell this house and buy a bigger one so we’d be more comfortable. Today I realize that this house is half full of useless junk that no one needs and if we got rid of it we could fit a few more beds in the bedrooms and give life to more children. The past few weeks I have been worried sick about my almost 15 month old son who still wears a size 2 diaper and barely weighs 18 pounds and have put him through some pretty invasive testing only to find out he is perfectly healthy. Today I realize that he actually weighs more than Adeye’s fourteen-year-old daughter that she and her husband have just committed to adopt from Eastern Europe who has been rotting away in an orphanage for fourteen years confined to a crib and only given a bottle with enough nourishment to keep her alive. I could go on. And on.

Perspective. It’s good for the soul.

“… whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” Luke 14:33

Our mighty little mountain man…Everest.

Posted by KK on Thursday, 12 April, 2012

It’s no secret that our little Ev is small. You can just look at him and see it. He was actually the heavier twin at birth (by 2 ounces) and faithfully kept up with Blu for several months as they grew but around 9 months of age her weight kept climbing but his began to bottom out. At his 12 month checkup his growth curve, which had always been considerably below where it needed to be as a result of their prematurity, had dipped a bit. Soon after his 12 month checkup he began to exhibit signs of pickiness (or so I thought) and I didn’t pay too much attention to it. Too many times I have rushed my kiddos to the doctor over something that was a temporary behavioral issue believing it was something much bigger. As the weeks flew by he continued to all but refuse food without a full on struggle at meals (me holding his little hands down so he wouldn’t pull his food back out of his mouth) so just to be on the safe side I took him to the pediatrician to rule out a sore throat or an ear infection. He checked out perfectly healthy with the exception of his weight. It had been 2 months since his 12 month checkup and he had dropped more weight (or rather his curved had dipped even lower because he had not gained an ounce but had aged more). Our pediatrician was not happy and ordered us to begin giving him high calorie protein shakes twice a day as well as take him to a GI specialist in Chattanooga to have him seen just to make sure there isn’t a problem we are not seeing. I had already been force-feeding Ev his 3 bottles & 3 meals per day so hearing that I was going to have to add an additional 2 bottles a day I knew it was going to be challenging and it is. I immediately bought vanilla and chocolate shake mixes and, athough this sounds super yummy to most, Ev hated it. He’s never had anything that sweet before and he struggles with things that are cold and these shakes are ‘served best cold’ although I do set them out and allow them to at least warm up to room temperature. But not only does he not like them, he already refuses his regular meals and bottles so there’s no way he is interested in more. If this continues, it will be hard to rely on these shakes to provide the additional calories he needs.

So yesterday we took Ev to see Dr. Laman with TC Thompsons Children’s Hospital. After a thorough checkup he was able to come to two conclusions: 1. Our Everest has Eosinophillic Esophagitis which is where an allergy to a specific food or a group of foods has a reaction and causes his esophagus to close up making it hard for him to swallow his food (which explains why he attempts to “fish hook” every bite from his mouth and throat or (although after that first suggestion I really didn’t hear much of anything else that doctor said) 2. Our Everest is a picky eater (which I don’t think he is having made every bit of his food by hand knowing how much he loves the different tastes) and will need high calorie protein shakes and/or ultimately an NG tube if he refuses them and continues to drop weight. WHAT???

So it looks like we are headed back to Chattanooga either Monday evening or very early Tuesday morning to report to TC Thompsons CH for outpatient testing where they are going to put my tiny little & fragile baby boy under anesthetic in order to place a tube into his esophagus as well as run several more tests and biopsies while he is under. To say that I am worried is an understatement. I am sick with worry. My pediatrician called me last night to ease my worry and he, as did the GI specialist, explained it will be extremely easy to treat this “EE” if Everest does in fact have it and much easier than if he does not and it turns out that he is simply a very picky eater. Once they begin treatment in babies with this allergy they begin to eat like mad and get fat and happy very quickly, so they say. I want fat and happy for my Ev. He is so small and we knew he would need a little extra stamina to be all that God has planned for him to be which is why we gave our mighty little man such a big name. I can’t imagine what it will look like on Tuesday when I see his lifeless little body under anesthesia and every time I imagine it and/or think of the risks associated with the anesthesia and procedures taking place I want to vomit. Everest has already overcome prematurity, perinatal drug addiction and a heart defect…he is determined to live up to his name.  “Lord, wrap our baby boy in your arms & breathe strength into him! Amen.”

Please join us in praying for Everest maybe toss in a few for this sappy little mama who can’t seem to stop weeping. Thank you!

He is Risen Indeed!

Posted by KK on Sunday, 8 April, 2012

Happy Easter from the Bailey Crew!

For Easter this year we chose to support Feeding The Orphans and donate what is truly a minuscule amount toward the feeding of the millions of orphans in this world. We did this last year for the first time and we loved it! I’ve never been one to spend money on fancy outfits for Easter (our church’s attire is typically blue jeans + t-shirt + flip flops the rest of the year) but I would find myself at midnight the night before Easter Sunday dusting off the old forgotten iron and throwing things together to try and make us look a little ‘prettier’…but for what? For the second year that peer pressure has been removed and we have been able to focus on the true meaning of Easter with our kiddos and this mama has felt blessed! At the same time, knowing that our small donation helped our friends’ amazing organization was even better.