Archive for May, 2012

Mother’s Day {2012}

Posted by KK on Sunday, 13 May, 2012


We were born and we were lying there and we heard things and we felt things.

Then you showed up and we heard You! and we felt You!

Our ears began to fill with words like LOVE, BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME , STRONG, and most of all PRECIOUS!

You have wiped every tear, and you have heard every laugh.

When we go to our beds in our comfortable and safe room, we easily drift off to sleep because we know you are near.

Every day our bellies are filled with nourishment from your hand that comes from your heart.

We hear words like unloved, neglected, malnourished, and unwanted but we don’t know what those words mean.

We are watching you closely mommy because we want to be just like you!

Thank you for loving us with all your heart and strength mommy!!!!

Happy Mothers Day! We love you so much!!

Blu Belle and Everest

{written by daddy}

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Mothering my Belle.

Posted by KK on Friday, 4 May, 2012

It’s no secret that I love being a mother. From a very young age it’s all I ever wanted to do. I didn’t dream of wedding dresses or my wedding day. I wanted to be married, of course, but I wanted babies and lots of them and right away. I wouldn’t be surprised if I asked Jason on our wedding night when we could start trying for a baby and was nearly devastated when it didn’t happen for us immediately. (It took us about 2 1/2 years to get pregnant, not trying aggressively but also not preventing it) I know this is what I was created for. I rarely ever get bogged down by the monotony in my life. I do laugh at it quite often, though.


and maybe a


Wake up to babies crying for a bottle. Make bottles while simultaneously making coffee. Get babies out of bed. Pour a cup of coffee. Check emails while babies quietly drink bottles. Wake up the rest of my crew if not already trickling out of bed. Give out morning hugs and kisses to all (the only time I ever get them from my biggest boy anymore but I love that he still desires a morning hug). Supervise breakfast being made and eaten (big kids make their own). Make breakfast for the littles and feed them all. Supervise the doing of chores while I do some of my own changing diapers as needed. Start some laundry. Clean the kitchen. Put babies down for a morning nap. Get JJ playing something fun while getting the big kids started on school. Couple hours of school. Babies wake up. Make lunch. Eat lunch. Clean the kitchen. Babies and JJ down for afternoon nap. Switch over laundry. More school. Play outside. Prepare and cook dinner. Greet daddy home from work. Eat dinner. Administer baths to the littles while the big boys shower. More laundry. All three littles to bed. Big boys devotions with daddy. Mama falls asleep on the couch after cleaning the kitchen. Daddy falls asleep on the other couch or in bed with a big boy he was praying with. I stumble into bed sometime during the night. Wake up to babies crying for a bottle….repeat.

And that’s just a glimpse of a normal day without any errands or therapy or doctor appointments. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. It’s what I was made for and I love doing it. I don’t find it hard or at all monotonous.

As of late I have been noticing something my sweet and one-and-only baby girl has been doing. My Blu Belle has been noticing her stuffed animals and dolls (only 2 of those so far) for the first time. She grabs them, squeezes them sort of aggressively, takes their arms and slings them from one side to the other back and forth and then smashes her face onto theirs. It is all very messy and loud and unorganized so it took her repeating all this for several days for me to realize what she was doing. (I’ve not mothered many little girls….is that obvious?) I’ve heard of baby girls barely walking who begin to show their nurturing side and I remember my best friend’s baby girl, Violet, taking baby wipes and wiping every surface she could get to when she was barely sitting up and crawling (her mommy and I are fans of constantly wiping things).


{Blu Belle’s first doll}

So yesterday I had the privilege of keeping a tiny little angel who is living with my dear friend and fellow foster mama while she went to pick up her newest little addition. Baby “A” is nine months old but only about 12 or so pounds. Her story is very sad but she is working hard to become all God has created her to be and her lovely foster mama is helping her do so as well. As soon as my friend handed me “A” my Belle began to freak out climbing up my leg and fussing at me. I thought at first that it might be a bit of jealousy but it wasn’t. She wanted that baby. As soon as I sat down in the floor with her my Belle just as close as she could and began to touch the baby’s lips and cheeks and nose. She was unsure of her at first (I don’t believe she’s ever seen another baby at least not that small) and after a few minutes of that she began to try and do all of the same things to her as she does to her dolls and animals. She wanted to mash her face onto baby A’s face and was making the funniest sounds real close to her face. I’ve never seen her like that before. Then it dawned on me. She is really being a mommy to her babies. I guess I just hadn’t realized that my sweet Belle was already at this age. She is nurturing just like she was created to do. It is pretty amazing to watch after only watching little boys play in their poop and eat dirt for the last 12 years. (ok, that was harsh….they throw things, too…LOL)

So as I was telling Jason about all this last night after he got home from work he was just amazed, loved hearing the stories and wished he’d seen the things she’d been doing. After talking about it for a while he picked her up and said “She’s breaking the cycle already.”

Queue the tears welling up in my eyes.

I hadn’t once thought of that. We often think out loud and chat about what their life may have been like had they not come to us (if they would have even survived) but I hadn’t once really thought about the cycle that was being broken right before our eyes. Our twins’ birth mother is 23 years old and has given birth to 8 children, none of which she has in her custody. She was likely a product of molestation or rape as she began her child bearing at the age of 13 and she is currently pregnant again. She is a serial mother. She gets pregnant, claims to enjoy being pregnant all the while not showing regard for the life inside her and continues to abuse drugs, gives birth and then suddenly when there is a life she created in her hands she freezes and cannot seem to mother that child(ren) even for a second. If any of her children even left the hospital with her they were taken into custody very quickly and have never gone back to her with a couple of them now living with Jesus. The last four, including our twins, didn’t leave the hospital with her and she never even saw our twins again after she abandoned them in the NICU. It is something I cannot fathom and it is very common. Mothers walking into hospitals high as a kite to give birth to a child and walking out empty handed never looking back. There were at least a half dozen in the NICU with our twins who had been abandoned and waiting for their foster parents to come get them. It is a vicious cycle that I have sadly been a witness to a lot in the last few years but one that is at least being broken forever in my home. I am not by any means a perfect mother and I am certain that one day in the near future I will sneak up on her playing with her babies and yelling at them or spanking their butts no doubt. But I am present and I love her to pieces and would lay down my life for her or any of her brothers. It’s what I was made for.


{“JJ” says, Dis da mommy.}

And don’t even get me started on the magnitude of the cycle being broken by her (and all our babes) having a very present father. I’ll have to save that one for next week. It is no doubt as important if not more.

Adoption changes lives. Forever.

Pimpin’ my ride…

Posted by KK on Tuesday, 1 May, 2012