TGIF!!!

This entry was posted by KK on Friday, 4 June, 2010 at

I know. Just a week or so ago I was griping about how bad Fridays stink for us because we have had to let our little guy go with his mom for the weekend. Well, as it turns out, his (and our) luck has changed. J’s mother decided to skip out on her hair follicle drug screening that the judge ordered her to do a few weeks ago. She took off leaving J with a friend when the caseworker was due to pick them both up for the screening before she was to bring him back to us following their weekend visit. Apparently, J’s mom knew some things would show up that she wasn’t thrilled about. Not only did she flee the drug test, she showed up for her court date on Thursday complaining and placing blame on the system saying they had failed her and that it was the system’s fault she didn’t make her appointment. Wrong again. The caseworker made every effort to get her there and continued trying to reach her all week before court. The judge wasn’t happy at all. He asked her if she had nothing to hide would she be willing to take a urine test right there at the courthouse and she agreed. Moments later, she tested positive for marijuana and meth. So sad. The test showed she had taken meth within the last 72 hours of the urine test, meaning she had likely done it while J was with her over the weekend and also knowing she had court in a few days and that it would show up. Needless to say, this didn’t bode well for her and the judge no longer took pity on her showing her favor as he has in the past. He had given her a large amount of rope and she ultimately hung herself with it. The judge yanked the rug out from under her and pulled every visitation from her. She cannot even see her son while supervised until hse has been clean for 30 days. I heard she was devastated. I would be, too. This will be hard for her. She has known what was at stake with him already being in custody and she couldn’t stay clean for him then. Either this will be a huge wake-up call for her, or it will drive her to dive deeper into her addiction. I pray it doesn’t. She has apparently found herself with an addiction serious enough that she cannot abstain even for a short amount of time for the sake of her son. I have met her and I believe she has good intentions. I can’t imagine how broken she feels right now. I pray someone will meet her and help her through this time.

As I heard the news and began feeling all the emotions of sadness for her, relief for us, frustration for him and thankfulness that he has remained safe each weekend with a drug addicted mother attempting to care for him, I was reminded by a good friend why things happen and how there is a reason for every thing. Had J’s mother never received weekend visitations like she had, this may have never happened. Yes, she may have still had a hard time providing a clean drug screening but we would have never seen this type of reluctance on her part as she has shown while she had him half of each week. We may have never seen how much depth there was to her addiction, how she was unable to abstain even given the amount of grace she had been given. It has been hard, very hard, parenting a child living with such confusion in his life at such a young age. It has been hard having to detox him every single week and trying to get him into a routine again only for him to go back just as soon as he adjusts. Now that I understand and am shown the reasoning behind it all, I can toss it all to the side and wipe the sweat off my brow. If only everything in this world were explained this well.

So today I will begin praying for her. I have prayed for little J a lot these last couple of months. Now that I know he is safe for a while, I can’t help but be sad for his mom. I know I haven’t prayed for her as much as I should have. Addictions are heart breaking. She is broken and needs a Saviour. I put myself in her shoes and nearly have a panic attack thinking about my son(s) being taken from me without even the hope of seeing them for a few months. As hard as it sounds, please remember her in your prayers.

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