Are you frickin’ kidding me?

This entry was posted by KK on Saturday, 14 March, 2009 at

After yesterday, I am surprised I am here and alive and pain-free. Yes, my shoulder and elbow are fine. Jason is home. We are all having a nice breakfast. What a great Saturday. Hold the phone. Our cat, Maggie, has been having a bad week. She has learned what I believed to be a new meow and it sounds like someone is cutting her tail off. She is going about the house yelling like this since Wednesday, of course, because I took Stevie to the vet on Tuesday so it is classic for something to happen the day after I could have taken her to the vet, too, to get checked out. Since Wednesday, she has progressively gotten worse. I have tried to tell Jason about it while he was away and last night he got the real dose. Maggie had us up all night with her screaming. We were taking turns getting out of bed to soothe her as if we had a newborn again. So this morning I was supposed to be in Philadelphia for an all day referee training course for AYSO. At breakfast, I decided Maggie needed to be seen. She was screaming non-stop and crouching down on the floor. One minute she would be fine and even jump on the countertop but the next she is in the floor rolling around screaming or walking while taking three normal steps and then crouching on the floor in pain. Is her back broken? Is her pelvis dislocated? Something is wrong and the severity of it has hit me and now this is an emergency. I called the vet and they are booked solid but agree to let me come in and they would work me in.

So off we go to the vet with her in the dog crate in the back of the truck. Most of you won’t be surprised when I tell you that I obsess over the health of my pets as much as I do my kids, however, I stay away from doctors with the kids. The pets, however, get taken to the vet every time they cough. So she screamed the entire way to Sweetwater (our vet is there, he is the best vet in the state and well worth the drive). All week I had been taking videos of Maggie’s episodes with my cell phone. It started out as funny to me. I thought she had just hit puberty and learned a new and deeper meow or was mad because the boys had been outside all week. She has always stood at the glass door and meowed when the boys go out to play. Here is one of the videos of her acting up…(I had been pulling wallpaper all week while Jason was out of town….this explains the stove being pulled out and the wallpaper in the floor. Fun.)

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So we arrive at the vet and we are called back relatively quickly. We go into a room and I take Maggie out of her carrier. The technician begins asking me questions and I began explaining her symptoms. The technician sees in her history that she is about 8 months old. “Ahhh…” she says. I bet she is in heat. “What?”. These are classic symptoms of a cat in heat. I showed her the video and she said “Yep, I guarantee that’s what the doctor will diagnose”. No way. No way is this cat moping around like she is dying and all that is wrong with her is a little kitty PMS. The technician keeps asking questions. I explain how she whines when the boys go outside. She says “Are those your other cats?” I said “No, they’re my actual children”. We laugh. The doctor comes in and immediately agrees that she is in heat and is just lookin’ for love. I show her the video. She loves it. She says “Oh yes, see how she’s rubbing all over everything. Yep. She’s just looking for love in all the wrong places”. This can’t go on. This cat has kept me up all week and has disturbed our entire household. The doc says we need to make her an appointment to get her lady junk out. We did and after a 10 minutes visit and a $40 bill I was driving back home with a grumpy cat and a scowl on my face. How could she?

So this one’s for you, Maggie….

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So, Maggie, here’s the deal….the Oasis Day Spa wasn’t taking reservations and I didn’t try the Belleza because I understand they have a new massage therapist who is relatively inexperienced so let’s just stick with your kitty yoga routine which you practice all day every day while you lay around licking your junk. Now, I know that’s not your first choice but keep in mind…You’re a flippin’ cat! And you owe me $40!

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2 Responses to “Are you frickin’ kidding me?”

  1. Girl, Kayce, I coulda told you she was feelin’ frisky. :)

  2. truevyne

    You so should have called me. Once we had a cat in heat and she went nuts. Solomon was very young and asked me what was wrong. I told him it was her way to let boy cats know she wants to have a baby. To that he started stroking the cat soothingly and whispered to her, “It’s okay, Tiger. I know you want to get married.” What a hoot!

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