The Bailey Brag

So off we go to the vet with her in the dog crate in the back of the truck. Most of you won’t be surprised when I tell you that I obsess over the health of my pets as much as I do my kids, however, I stay away from doctors with the kids. The pets, however, get taken to the vet every time they cough. So she screamed the entire way to Sweetwater (our vet is there, he is the best vet in the state and well worth the drive). All week I had been taking videos of Maggie’s episodes with my cell phone. It started out as funny to me. I thought she had just hit puberty and learned a new and deeper meow or was mad because the boys had been outside all week. She has always stood at the glass door and meowed when the boys go out to play. Here is one of the videos of her acting up…(I had been pulling wallpaper all week while Jason was out of town….this explains the stove being pulled out and the wallpaper in the floor. Fun.)

So we arrive at the vet and we are called back relatively quickly. We go into a room and I take Maggie out of her carrier. The technician begins asking me questions and I began explaining her symptoms. The technician sees in her history that she is about 8 months old. “Ahhh…” she says. I bet she is in heat. “What?”. These are classic symptoms of a cat in heat. I showed her the video and she said “Yep, I guarantee that’s what the doctor will diagnose”. No way. No way is this cat moping around like she is dying and all that is wrong with her is a little kitty PMS. The technician keeps asking questions. I explain how she whines when the boys go outside. She says “Are those your other cats?” I said “No, they’re my actual children”. We laugh. The doctor comes in and immediately agrees that she is in heat and is just lookin’ for love. I show her the video. She loves it. She says “Oh yes, see how she’s rubbing all over everything. Yep. She’s just looking for love in all the wrong places”. This can’t go on. This cat has kept me up all week and has disturbed our entire household. The doc says we need to make her an appointment to get her lady junk out. We did and after a 10 minutes visit and a $40 bill I was driving back home with a grumpy cat and a scowl on my face. How could she?

So this one’s for you, Maggie….

So, Maggie, here’s the deal….the Oasis Day Spa wasn’t taking reservations and I didn’t try the Belleza because I understand they have a new massage therapist who is relatively inexperienced so let’s just stick with your kitty yoga routine which you practice all day every day while you lay around licking your junk. Now, I know that’s not your first choice but keep in mind…You’re a flippin’ cat! And you owe me $40!